In an effort to expedite the acquisition of the SS MINOW III, to provide  for our polo ponies, Rusty & Levi, and to blow all the excess millions on booze and club activities, your Commodore,  after  a successful trial run at Santa Anita where all attendees were provided with a losing Super Lotto Ticket, announces the creation of the THOUSAND PALMS TRAILER PARK YACHT & POLO CLUB “ WE ARE ALL GOING TO BE RICH — OR NOT” FUND.

The FUND:

Will invest in 50 California Lotto Tickets for all “designated events” declared by the Commodore.

Tickets to be purchased from monies in the Club’s non-existent and empty bank-account. All  tickets to be held by the  Commodore. A copy of the 50 tickets will be provided to the Purser or, in her absence, another Board Member appointed by the Commodore.

This perk is available only to the 50 Chartered Members.

TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR THE PRIZE DISTRIBUTION, A CHARTERED MEMBER MUST BE IN ATTENDANCE AT THE DESIGNATED EVENT.  EXEMPTIONS MAY BE AWARDED BY THE COMMODORE.  

• Exemption #1: All Chartered Members located 50 miles from the location at the day of the designated event are automatically considered in attendance.

Payouts as follows: 50% of the lotto prize fund to be split between the CHARTER MEMBERS in attendance (plus any exemptions granted by the Commodore) at designated events announced by the Commodore with the remaining 50% designated for the purchase of the above stated items under the leadership and direction of the Commodore.

Any and all disputes will be resolved in binding Arbitration with an impartial Arbitrator, Eunice “Lovey” Howell, presiding over any and all disputes. Representing the Club will be our Consigliere, the honorable Brad Chudiak. Representing the Commodore will also be Brad Chudiak.